Well-socialized cats are more likely to have well-socialized kittens. Kittens respond to their mothers’ calm or fearful attitude toward people. Although feeding time is important, it’s also vital to include petting, talking and playing in order to build good people-skills in your kitten.

Kittens are usually weaned at six or seven weeks, but may continue to suckle for comfort as their mother gradually leaves them more and more. Orphaned kittens, or those weaned too soon, are more likely to exhibit inappropriate suckling behaviors later in life. Ideally, kittens should stay with their littermates (or other role-model cats) for at least 12 weeks.

Kittens orphaned or separated from their mother and/or littermates too early often fail to develop appropriate social skills, such as learning how to send and receive signals, what an inhibited bite means, how far to go in play-wrestling and so forth. Play is important for kittens because it increases their physical coordination, social skills and learning limits. By interacting with their mother and littermates kittens learn how to be a cat, as well as explore the ranking process (who’s in charge).

Kittens who are handled 15 to 40 minutes a day during the first seven weeks are more likely to develop larger brains. They’re more exploratory, more playful and are better learners. Skills not acquired during the first eight weeks may be lost forever. While these stages are important and fairly consistent, a cat’s mind remains receptive to new experiences and lessons well beyond kitten-hood. Most cats are still kittens, in mind and body, through the first two years.

The following chart provides general guidelines for the stages of development.

0 – 2 weeks = Neonatal

  • Learning to orient toward sound.
  • Eyes are opening, usually open by two weeks.
  • Competition for rank and territory begins. Separation from their mother and littermates at this point can lead to poor learning skills and aggression toward people and other pets, including other cats.

2 – 7 weeks = Socialization

  • By the third week smell is well-developed and they can see well enough to find their mother.
  • By the fourth week smell is fully mature and hearing is well-developed. They start to interact with their littermates, they can walk fairly well, and their teeth are erupting.
  • By the fifth week sight is fully mature, they can right themselves, run, place their feet precisely, avoid obstacles, stalk and pounce, and catch “prey” with their eyes.
  • Start to groom themselves and others.
  • By the sixth and seventh weeks they begin to develop adult sleeping patterns, motor abilities and social interaction.

7- 14 weeks = Most active play period

  • Social and object play increases their physical coordination and social skills. Most learning is by observation, preferably from their mother.
  • Social play includes belly-ups, hugging, ambushing and licking.
  • Object play includes scooping, tossing, pawing, mouthing and holding.
  • Social/object play includes tail chasing, pouncing, leaping and dancing.

3 – 6 months = Ranking period

  • Most influenced by their “litter” (playmates now include companions of other species).
  • Beginning to see and use ranking (dominant and submissive) within the household, including humans.

6 – 18 months = Adolescence

  • Heightened exploration of dominance, including challenging humans.
  • If not spayed or neutered, beginnings of sexual behavior.

Managing Your Kitten’s Rough Play

Play-motivated aggressive behaviors are common in young, active cats less than two years of age, and in cats that live in one-cat households. When cats play, they incorporate a variety of behaviors into their play, such as exploratory, investigative and predatory behaviors. Play provides young cats with opportunities to practice skills they would normally need for survival. Kittens like to explore new areas and investigate anything that moves, and may bat at, pounce on and bite objects that resemble prey.

Kittens learn how to inhibit their bite from their littermates and their mother. A kitten who is separated from her family too early may play more roughly than a kitten who has had more valuable family time. In addition, if humans play with a young kitten using their hands and/or feet instead of toys, the kitten is liable to learn that rough play with people is okay. In most cases, it’s possible to teach your kitten or young adult cat that rough play isn’t acceptable behavior.

Encourage acceptable behavior

Redirect your kitten’s aggressive behavior onto acceptable objects like toys. Drag a toy along the floor to encourage your kitten to pounce on it, or throw a toy away from your kitten to give her even more exercise chasing the toy down. Some kittens will even bring the toy back to be thrown again!

Another good toy is one that your kitten can wrestle with, like a soft stuffed toy that’s about the size of your kitten, so she can grab it with both front feet, bite it, and kick it with her back feet. This is one of the ways kittens play with each other, especially when they’re young. It’s also one of the ways they try to play with human feet and hands, so it’s important to provide this type of alternative play target. Encourage play with a wrestling toy by rubbing it against your kitten’s belly when she wants to play roughly – be sure to get your hand out of the way as soon as she accepts the toy.

Since kittens need a lot of playtime, try to set up three or four consistent times during the day to initiate play with your kitten. This will help her understand that she doesn’t have to be the one to initiate play by pouncing on you.

Discourage unacceptable behavior

You need to set the rules for your kitten’s behavior, and every person your cat comes in contact with should reinforce these rules. Your kitten can’t be expected to learn that it’s okay to play rough with Dad, but not with the baby.

  • Use aversives to discourage your kitten from nipping. You can either use a squirt bottle filled with water and a small amount of vinegar or a can of pressurized air to squirt your kitten with when she becomes too rough.To use this technique effectively, you’ll always need to have the spray bottle or can handy. You can either place one in each room, or carry one with you as you move around the house. In some cases, you may want to apply taste aversives to your hands. If you have sensitive skin you may want to wear gloves and put the aversive on the gloves. The possible disadvantage to this method is that your kitten may learn that “hands with gloves taste bad and those without gloves don’t.”Remember that aversives will work only if you offer your kitten acceptable alternatives.
  • Redirect the behavior after using the aversive. After you startle your kitten with the aversive, immediately offer her a toy to wrestle with or to chase. This will encourage her to direct her rough play onto a toy instead of a person. We recommend that you keep a stash of toys hidden in each room specifically for this purpose.
  • Withdraw attention when your kitten starts to play too roughly. If the distraction and redirection techniques don’t seem to be working, the most drastic thing you can do to discourage your cat from her rough play is to withdraw all attention when she starts playing too roughly. She wants to play with you, so eventually she’ll figure out how far she can go if you keep this limit consistent.

The best way to withdraw your attention is to walk away to another room, and close the door long enough for her to calm down. If you pick her up to put her in another room, then you’re rewarding her by touching her. You should be the one to leave the room.

Please note: None of these methods will be very effective unless you also give your kitten acceptable outlets for her energy, by playing with her regularly using appropriate toys.

What not to do

Attempts to tap, flick or hit your kitten for rough play are almost guaranteed to backfire. Your kitten could become afraid of your hands, or she could interpret those flicks as playful moves by you and play even more roughly as a result.

Picking up your kitten to put her into a “timeout” could reinforce her behavior because she probably enjoys the physical contact of being picked up. By the time you get her to the timeout room and close the door, she has probably already forgotten what she did to be put in that situation.


Kittens can bite or scratch through the skin. In these cases it’s best to seek help from a behavior specialist to work with your kitten’s behavior. Be sure to keep your kitten confined until you can get professional help. Also, be sure to thoroughly clean all bites and scratches and consult your physician, as cat scratches and bites can easily become infected.

Copyright Dumb Friends League and Humane Society of the United States. All rights reserved.